Announced just last week, Ello is the hottest new social media network. If you haven’t heard of it, Ello is a social media platform that promises a beautiful (though that’s debatable) design, privacy, and no ads. Surely in response to ever-growing Facebook resentment, Ello insists that privacy is paramount and your data won’t be sold to third parties. Furthermore, Ello doesn’t insist you use your legal name (a hot topic among the LBGTQ+ community) and is porn-friendly, if that’s your thing.

Still in beta, Ello registration is currently via invite only (I got my account already), but membership has been doubling every few days and invites being sold on eBay. Twitter is abuzz with #ello opinions. We social media nut jobs are still wondering what Ello can do for businesses, if anything. Analytic tracking is available on Ello, but users can easily opt out. On the other hand, Ello might be useful for ultra-small businesses that were left out when Facebook business pages moved to their pay-to-play system. But currently, there’s sparse information on how business pages will be managed.

I spent some time poking around on Ello today and reading online reviews. To be honest, I wasn’t excited. And no, it’s not because because I work in digital marketing. My selfie-taking, cat-posting, native ad-averse heart wasn’t fluttering.

After spending some time on Ello, I was left wondering how this big, complex, expensive social network can survive without a monetization strategy. Ello says that they, like pre-2014 Tumblr, will be ad-free and charge users a small fee for premium features (By the way, Tumblr now runs native ads). They were seeded through a venture capital firm and are 12% investor-owned. The bottom line is Ello will need ROI, and I think it’s a bit of a stretch to ask users to pay for features that Facebook offers for free. Granted, venture capital is out of our expertise, but Colin Neagle makes a compelling case for why Ello will fail.

But aside from that, it’s easy to get the inkling that Ello was to be an anti-Facebook. It sure feels that way. And great ideas don’t start by being anti-anything. In other words, users should be flocking to Ello because they love Ello, not because they hate Facebook.

And I don’t love Ello.

The fledgling site’s minimal black-and-white design is harsh and overly stylized. I feel like I’m looking at a trendy design Tumblog. I love a good typeface as much as anybody, there’s something to be said about the unobtrusive design of Facebook and the customizability of Twitter that’s easy on the eyes and keeps the focus on the users and content, rather than alienating those of us who aren’t avant-garde graphic designers.

Speaking of which…

So, is Ello the next big thing? The timing is right, but it’s far from the first Facebook alternative. Diaspora is now defunct, and even Google+ was no match for social media behemoth. With Ello’s over-styled and underdeveloped feel, and its shaky business plan, my hopes aren’t high.